If you’ve been following my blog posts from day one, you know my life is an open book. I love sharing my life experiences, and the story of ‘me’, which also includes my struggles. I find it therapeutic and I believe my struggles resonate with most people.
Not too long ago, I posted something on social media about attending two different high schools. The response from my high school friends was one of confusion. They had assumed I had spent my entire high school career with them, at Thornlea Secondary School in Thornhill, Ontario. But they were wrong.
I went from the Thornlea School to the Jerome D. Diamond Adolescent Centre in east Toronto, and the move altered the course of my life. The Diamond Centre is a tremendous school for children with emotional, educational, social or behavioral challenges’, and I was one of those adolescents with many of those challenges.
The Diamond Centre saved me from myself. There is no possible way to overstate this; the Centre saved my life. It gave me the tools to go back into the mainstream school system and in so doing, also gave me back to my life.
the coal
I have always been a passionate and driven person. When I want to achieve something, I go all in, and I work my butt off to be the best I can, and achieve my desired goals. Growing up, my father’s nickname for me was PITA (Pain In The Ass) and trust me, it was 100% warranted. That’s also something I worked very hard to achieve!
All kidding aside, even though I was passionate I was also a very confused, angry child. When I was young, I didn’t have an outlet for my emotions, and as a result, I would lose my temper. A lot. My temper got so bad and my outbursts occurred so often that I started seeing a psychiatrist at the age of 8. By the time I was 13, I was taking antidepressants, and seeing a psychiatrist at least once a week.
Around that time, as the grade 8 school year was coming to an end, I went with my graduating class on a trip to Quebec City. But I was met with tragic news when I returned home. My father was waiting for me and sadly relayed the unfortunate passing of my grandfather, Papa Harry Wagman. It was the first I had ever dealt with a death in my family.
Then one month later, I experienced another tragedy. While at my happy place, a sleepover camp in Bracebridge, Ontario, a boy I looked up to and considered a friend, was tragically killed in a boating accident. I was at a loss. Some campers were allowed to leave camp and attend the funeral. I was able to see my parents and feel their love, which was so needed, but unfortunately, I don’t think it was enough.
That summer was rough. I had emotions I didn’t fully understand and I wasn’t fully equipped to deal with, which only led to more confusion and more anger. I just didn’t know how to process those events and if I’m being honest, even all these years later, I’m still not sure I comprehend that time in my life.
The following two years were hard, my emotions only intensified. I turned into my shadow and became a complete asshole to my family, especially my mother. I’m not really sure why, but it only led to more anger and confusion. My tantrums became the norm and I was exhausting to be around. My parents were at a loss as to how to handle their ‘problem child’. While they never labelled me their ‘problem’ it was pretty clear who, out of the four children, was the most high maintenance. Moi.
It wasn’t until a few years later that the Jerome D. Diamond Adolescent Centre, came into my life.
the diamond
I was 16 years old when I started attending the Diamond Centre. I was the oldest student there and the youngest was 12. The classes were small, I had roughly five students in mine, and the whole school only had about 30 students in total. It was so different from Thornlea, and exactly what I needed.
Getting to the Centre from Thornhill was quite the trek. Looking back, it must have looked weird to the other students when I’d pull up in my car. Most of the kids walked to school. Back then, the school had a residence where many of the students lived, and although it was suggested that I stay in residence too, my parents wouldn’t allow it. They wanted to hold on to as much normalcy in our lives as possible.
The Centre itself really focused on strategies and life skills versus assigning projects and homework. For example, in the ‘Degrassi Class’, we would watch and analyze episodes of the television show, “Degrassi Junior High”. We would talk about the show and relate it back to real-life situations, that involved both friends and family. Looking back, I learned so much.
What made the Centre really special was the staff. A few weeks in, they quickly zeroed in on my passion for singing and guitar and encouraged me to explore it further. My brother Adam had previously taught me how to play guitar, but up until that point, I hadn’t taken it very seriously. But in grade 11 at 16 years of age, I finally discovered a way to channel my frustration and emotion, by singing and playing the guitar. Incredibly, I also started to write songs. And just like that, I found my outlet; creating music. It was a lot more fun and productive than my hulk-like temper tantrums.
The Doobie Brothers have a song called “Music is the Doctor’’. Well, it certainly helped to ‘heal’ me.
full circle
I left the Diamond Centre right before the end of the school year. Leaving early was against the school’s wishes, but I knew it was the right decision to make. Thanks to the Centre, I was much more confident in my decision-making skills. I left and went to the place I considered my safe haven; camp. I called the owner of the camp, Howie, and asked if I could come up and work. For free. Because of my age and the fact that school was still in session, I needed my parents’ permission. They said yes, and before I knew it, I was back at my happy place. Though this time around, being at camp was an incredible time of reflection. It was a chance to look back on my months at the Diamond Centre and think about all the lessons I had learned. There were many.
Today, almost 30 years later, life has really come full circle. I attend the Diamond Centre in a teaching capacity, to teach students how to cook amazing, simple, healthy food and to share my own life experiences. I explain to the kids that there’s no difference between them and me, and, as a matter of fact, I was right where they were 30 years ago. They can turn it around to lead happy, productive lives. I sure did.
One of my own happy moments and greatest achievements occurred recently; I have been asked to sit on committees for the Jewish Family and Childcare Services (JF and CS), which is an incredible honour and validation for me. Particularly because I was a child ‘in the system’ that’s now an adult in a position to help affect change. That is pretty damn cool, and something I’m really, really proud of!
I also couldn’t have gotten here on my own. So, to Bonnie and Bonnie, my teacher and my child care worker from the Diamond Centre, thank you! You helped mold me into the man I am today. I don’t know where you both are, or how to reach you, but I hope you can feel how grateful I am. Maybe one day, I’ll get to tell you in person.
In gratitude,
– Chef jw
