Most days I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast. But if you ask me what was on the menu on a specific night 5 or 10 years ago, I could probably recite every single plate. I also have a damn good memory when it comes to the big moments in my life. One of the biggest was my wedding night, where I got to marry my best friend.
One of the highlights of that night was my wedding speech. Don’t get me wrong, my whole wedding night was THE BEST. A small group of our closest friends and family, partying into the night at an amazing restaurant in downtown Toronto. But the night was made even better by my speech – because it was a reflection on my journey to my wedding day. It also rocked if I do say so myself!
here’s some background
Right before Tamar and I got married, I accepted a position as the Executive Sous Chef at the Grand Lido Resort in Negril, Jamaica. My skin needed the benefits of warm sunshine, after years of living through Toronto’s harsh winters. So Tamar and I made plans to move down right after our wedding, since my job also provided for an all-expenses paid honeymoon to all of their resort properties. Who was I to argue? I could get a feel for the company’s food program while beginning the next chapter of my life with Tamar. A week before our wedding I went down to Negril to find us a home, and brought some of our luggage down in anticipation of our move.
That week in Jamaica started off perfectly. I ate great food, saw some amazing properties, spent time with the staff and got to know the area that we would soon call home. I was in heaven. I also did what I always do on an island; spend as much time as possible on the beach, in the sun, treating my Psoriasis.
Apparently, that was a mistake.
The day before I left Jamaica, and two days before my wedding, I was called into the Resort GM’s office for a meeting. He looked at me and said “no one will eat the food if you cook it”. What?! Confused and surprised, I asked “Why”. “You have a contagious disease spread all over your body” he continued. It was my Psoriasis. I explained my appearance and condition but no amount of explaining would change his mind and I was let go on the spot.
I had given up my previous job, apartment and expectations of living in cold weather. There was also no other honeymoon booked.
I was completely devastated.
friends are family
Still, I had a wedding to attend – my own, and I didn’t want to be a downer. In my heart I knew the day would be special and that no matter what, Tamar and I would always want to remember it. So, I did the only thing I could do when it was time to deliver my speech. I was honest as F***! I used the time to reflect on my family and friends and the profound impact they’ve had on me and my life. It brought back a lot of amazing memories.
I talked about my friend, Sean, and how when I was 19 and heading to Israel to get Psoriasis treatment for the very first time, he handed me $1000. A big moment I remember well. This is how the conversation went down, verbatim:
Sean: “Have an awesome time Jord, do you have enough cash?”
Me: “Course, – I have 1000 dollars.”
Sean: “Are you F***ing mad?!”
Sean then stopped the conversation, left the room, got into his car and returned 20 minutes later with another 1000 dollars that he put in my hand. He didn’t want me to worry about anything other than getting my skin better. Let me remind you, we weren’t 40 or 30 or even 25. We were 19 year old kids. Even though it was a lot of money for him, Sean didn’t give it a second thought.
As I continued my speech, it became harder to hold back the tears. I cried. Surprise! But I don’t think I was the only one. I also laughed, made fun of myself and of my situation. It wasn’t easy but what became clear that day was that that my friends are truly my family and that is what really matters.
friendly advice
Two years ago, I started eating clean. Other than seeking professional help from a naturopath, I really had very little direction. But I did have one ace in the hole, my friend Lisa. I’m actually welling up as I type this…. Lisa is one of my greatest supporters and has always been a card-carrying member of the Jordan Wagman Fan club (she may also be the only one!). I’ve known Lisa for 30 years. She is selfless, brilliant and has always been there to give the best unsolicited advice.
Lisa is also a pioneer in the clean eating world. She’s always talked about the importance of eating organics. Wait, did I say ‘talked’?! I mean PREACHED! She would stand on her soap box and encourage us to think about the toxins we put into our bodies and out into the planet. She talked a lot and we made fun of her a lot. I mean, a lot.
But turns out Lisa was right – and light years ahead of us all.
When I started my clean eating journey, I called Lisa. A lot! I asked her a tonne of questions and texted her all the time and she never once turned me away. She answered every question, supporting me on my path and went beyond what any normal friend would do to help. Lisa is more than a friend, she is family. She is also as brilliant as she is driven and beautiful, inside and out and I could not have accomplished any of my goals without her.
Thank you, Lisa.
family, they are my best friends (oh, and haagen dazs)
So here we are back at the wedding speech. Remember how I said there were tears? Well I completely lost it when I started talking about my immediate family. I began with my siblings, and the fact that I am one of four children. That means I have three best friends. When reading my speech I realized just how lucky I am.
I talked about my ridiculously smart, younger brother Ryan. How he would edit my work in elementary, high school and University. Virtually every paper I ever handed in, had his fingerprints on it in some way or another. Who am I kidding? Ryan has edited everything for me, even today. He is a brilliant writer and a big to-do in the advertising world, who now lives in NYC. But as per usual, I digress.
Growing up, my older brother Adam, who is just as ridiculously smart, was like a second father to me. He was my go-to when I needed sound, rational advice to some of life’s biggest challenges. Today, nothing has changed. 45 years later I still ask Adam to help me with my problems.
I also talked about growing up with my sisters Jennifer and Michelle; my little sister Jennifer whose boyfriends I scared away time and time again and how I met my sister-in-law, Michelle, for the first time when I was 13. I actually walked in on my brother and Michelle kissing in a cabin. That was my first time meeting her…AWKWARD. Later I would also add Chelsea to my family of sisters. But it was talking about my parents that really sent me over the emotional cliff.
Growing up, I was an absolute PITA. PITA was my father’s pet name for me and it stood for Pain In The Ass! I earned that nickname every moment of every day as a kid.
But now, as a 45-year-old father of two (relatively) well behaved children, I can appreciate why I was not an easy child. I was a confused creative with a horrible temper and I was a full-time job. So, I can also appreciate the work my parents put into raising me. I’m so thankful they did.
All of our dads are pretty damn special and Richard Lloyd Wagman is no exception. There wasn’t a school assembly, hockey game or significant event that he missed throughout my childhood. He is one special dude. My father wasn’t sure what path my life would take, but he always showed confidence in me and the decisions I made. I owe the life I have today to him, from my successes in the culinary world to my career at the Accurate Group of Companies. Perhaps I’m most grateful for the kick-ass father and husband I’ve become. I owe a lot of that to him.
My mother has also been a part of my journey. She has a sense of humor I have yet to completely understand and a sweet tooth like no other! With only six years between the youngest and oldest of my siblings, there were many times when we would all come home around the same time from an evening of being kids. Like clockwork, my mom would ask one of us to go out and get Haagen Dazs and in less than 20 minutes she would eat (ie: inhale) the entire tub herself. It’s amazing the things you remember from your youth.
thank you jamaica
Despite what happened in Jamaica, my wedding day was special. Maybe even because of it.
My wedding day was the reason to reflect on what was really important in life, and my wedding speech was the opportunity to publicly thank all the people, places and things that have had the best impact on who I am and where I’ve come from. Including Jamaica.
So, thank you Jamaica! Everything happens for a reason and I couldn’t be happier with my happy ending.
While I’m not sure what I had for breakfast this morning, I can tell you one thing for certain. My friends are my family and my family are truly, my best friends.
– Chef Jw
